danger

there are things we try to protect our children from- and while these dangers can be categories into several different types: physical pain, rejection, mean dentists....the most dangerous dangers are the ones that we ourselves have experienced as children.

i see this over and over.  sometimes it feels like i don't even need to actively express our concerns- somehow our kids just pick up on our worst fears and either avoid those scary places or dive in head first- depending on the age and demeanor of the kid.

for example, seren called electric outlets "no-nos" for the first several years of his life because whenever he got near them that is what he heard.  i have no memory of shoving a fork into an outlet but i know what it feels like to have an electrical shock.  it happened in college.

my first apartment was in the basement of a rumored old time hospital.  no doubt my pad was where they kept the corpses.  it had two windows in the living room and one in the bedroom.  the bathroom was smaller than a closet but it could fit about six people  if we squished really tight- which meant actually touching the molding shower walls (need less to say- this event only happened once).  as a basement apartment i had the joys of hearing all that happened above me from the artistic projects that included smashing the beer bottles on to the kitchen floor to hot-sex.  or at least it sounded hot.

i also had the pleasure of the flooding, mildew and mushrooms growing out of the carpet.  can you say slum lord? and blown fuses.  this lovely old pink building did not have a fuse box with nice little switches that you flipped on and off.  it had ancient looking glass tubes that you had to replace.  well first you had to find a place that sold them.  which i did after several days of no lights in half of the place- which considering the size of the place it was maybe three outlets.

i remember going into the cold damp area right next to the apartment where forgotten bikes of past renters were stored.  there was a door from the bedroom into this area.  which was so damn creepy i stapled a blanket over it- which sounded like a good idea except when the firemen chopped in to the door i didn't realize the door was open for several days- more creepy.  different story though.

so i venture into the basement area with new tube fuse and flashlight.  no need to wait until boyfriend gets home- carry on brave maiden!  i pulled out an old tube, put in the new.  nothing.  hmmm.  i reached to pull out another tube and an invisible fiery red snake shot up my arm.  the flashlight flew out of my other hand and hit the cement wall.  my head flew off and then bounced back on- leaving half of my body jittery, twitching and electrocuted- albeit mildly.

i was thankful my bed was only ten steps away.  i lay there- my face throbbing wondering how i got so damn stupid.  i guess that big metal switch was the off lever- and i should have thrown that one first.  i looked down at my hand and saw that all of my nails were charred black.  i wondered if they would stop tingling soon.

so yes, be careful of outlets seren. call them no nos and don't touch them.

cyrus, on the other hands, laughs when he nears them and i start twitching.  well, just the right side of me.